I belong to the generation that has been witness to some of the most life-altering situations in terms of social perceptions. From seeing our homemaker mothers at our beck and call all day and having our fathers perform few household chores, we are acclimatising ourselves to the changing equations where both parents are bread-earners and share the entire load equally.
Motherhood, hence, has also seen a drastic change in its approach and responsibilities over time. True, like always we have a whole lot of unsolicited advice pouring in right from the time that stick shows two lines to the time we’re prepared to marry our kids off. Yet, we’ve now come to acknowledge the fact that pampering and canoodling our kids isn’t entirely what motherhood is all about. We can and we do a lot more than that.
Despite knowing that every mother’s journey is special and unique, I would like to share certain things I’ve learnt from my experience of raising two kids, mostly with no extra set of hands for help.
I feel terribly guilty now for all the eye-rolling and silent sniggering when I was leaving home for higher studies and my Mom wept uncontrollably while letting me go. Just sending a toddler A Jr to school made me realise that separation anxiety is a real thing in mothers, although the intensity might change for individuals. Dealing with it can be challenging but one cannot feign being untouched by it.
Children today appreciate being treated as equals and are more matured and understanding than we were at their age. While our education system doesn’t take practical learning into consideration much, as mothers we need to introduce them to concepts like handling money, personal security, good touch and bad touch, etc at an early age while not letting them get overwhelmed and feeling reasonably accountable.
I loved keeping a diary as a teenager, a practice which seems I was into eons ago. That time, however, is safely nestled between those pages and a peek into them once a while makes me go all mushy and nostalgic. Imagine having your kids’ precious childhood carefully preserved through photographs, a diary or a blog and being your companion in old age when they’ve flown away from the nest! Yes, motherhood will make you love keepsakes more than ever.
People unfairly expect motherhood as an excuse to harbour prejudice for you regarding matters that do not concern them. Whether you go to work leaving your toddler behind or take a career break to willingly tiptoe around it, you are going to be judged. Everything you do will be scrutinised with scant respect for your everyday hardships. All you can do is develop a thick skin and learn to shrug it off nonchalantly. Whatever you choose to do, never ever regret it.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but motherhood isn’t all sweet and rosy. Some days you wish you hadn’t put yourself in this situation (of course you don’t mean it) while some days you want to fast forward a few years of your life to a time when your kids will be independent and won’t need you round the clock. Be assured, you’re not in this alone. These thoughts run through every mother’s mind at some point in her life. Not everyone accepts it though.
Do you identify with any of these points? Do leave a comment and let me know. 🙂