The 30s conundrum

As I have said on my blog before, as a woman the trend ‘30s is the new 20s’ fills me with immense joy and pride. Not just me, I can assure you that there are millions of women worldwide in different stages of their personal and professional lives who would welcome this second phase of hope and opportunity with renewed zest.

Having said that, while doing this are we subjecting ourselves to the same challenges and prejudice that people in their 20s face from our same-aged peers and colleagues too? May be, may be not. It is a personal and subjective matter.

More often than not women face prejudice with respect to choices they haven’t made. Lets say, a kickass career woman with an impressive career would get judged for her lack of owning up to family responsibilities and an overqualified homemaker like me would (and does) get ridiculed for sacrificing that very career and opting to look after her family instead.

Men, whether they are 20 or 50 don’t have to face the jabs of body shaming like we do, at any age. Ofcourse, there are exceptions. If in 20s it is peer pressure, in 30s more than for ourselves it is about ‘how good we look with our partner’. The hormonal changes that come with childbirth are conveniently ignored at our expense.

If we let go and keep company with the left side of the weighing machine, we’re careless, and if we sweat it out regularly to keep fit and dress stylishly, we’re trying too hard to hold on to the last few strings of youth. Our choice of colours and attire is always under scrutiny, irrespective of how many years we’ve clocked.

Let me share something with you. Few days ago I was sharing my workout regime and healthy-eating ritual with a friendly guy I met at a friend’s place and who was seemingly interested to know about it. He heard me out completely, looked me from head to toe and then quipped sarcastically, “You’re sure you’re talking about yourself?”

The jibe was directed at the fact that I don’t have the ideal hour-glass figure, which my workout should presumably help me achieve (whether my intent or not). Never mind that this guy weighs more than a 100 kgs himself and sits at his desk all day collecting more of it.

Any right he had done till then got washed out with that one retort of his, for which I replied only with a line, “You do look at yourself in the mirror, right?” No matter how educated or well-to-do, it is the basic behaviour of a person that shows how ‘cultured’ he or she really is.

Interestingly, the other day I met a girl who refused to buy that I was married, let alone being a mother of two. I was ecstatic to say the least, more because I felt comforted that I was doing something right with myself.

I apologise if this became a rant post and am sincerely grateful if you read it till the end. I had to get this off my chest and believe that in all seriousness I’ve spoken for many more women who face such people and situations at some or the other point in life.

Do leave a comment, would love to know your thoughts about this.

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21 thoughts on “The 30s conundrum

  1. He he.. I can understand that. Well, Most of it. I have seen my wife doing all those exercises and diet plans after the baby. Well, at times, we used to run together in the evenings. We still do at times, based on how the day goes and if there is still energy left in the evenings.

    As long as one feels fit, that is all much to that. And after we start the 30’s it is crucial to stay fit (I guess there is no definition for fit. Depends on one).

    This was a nice read that every one can relate! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Getting fit is one of the few trends that I’m glad is catching on with everyone. When I see people walking or jogging or doing yoga together in parks in the morning it makes me very happy and inspires me to do it myself.
      Having said that, I have to admit that being overweight is hereditary in our family and most of my efforts are to keep the resultant lifestyle diseases at bay.
      The guy’s reaction truly came as a shock to me. Someone lost respect in my eyes there. Thank you Prakash. I hope there are more people like you who understand women and their problems.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s about one being fit. Agree. Keeping diseases at bay should be the major motto.

        I really got confused with the statement, “Someone lost respect in my eyes”.. 😛 😛 😀
        Well, I try to understand as much as I can. This was a pleasure read.. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha…the line was directed for that guy. Such regressive attitude shows where your mentality comes from, that’s all. 😊😜

        Thanks again for your comment, Prakash. ☺

        Liked by 1 person

    1. These prejudices get talked about and written about so much, yet it saddens me that no one takes any lessons from them. I’ve seen and encountered a lot of it myself and feel that it is very unfair to us. Don’t you think so?
      Thank you for understanding me! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. what do you mean men dont get .. I get told off how I am fat.. and hair going white .. and how I am this or that all the time …

    BUt as to everyone who cares, its is true i cant live without a few things that i eat and I will eat them when I want as I want.. doesnot bother me at all anymore.. you only live once no one is going to say oh he looked handsome on the pyre 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You have, V, you have spoken for many many women who are often judged for everything from dressing up to your choices to your abilities to run a family or choose to balance a family and work. At this point, it really does not matter, I care less as what their opinions are as for me, my families and my happiness is primary, the rest can simply take a walk!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wrote about all this earlier too and felt like I was repeating myself. Yet, it never gets old because people don’t and will never give up interfering in others’ business and life.
      Nowadays I just blog about it and ignore. It is easier.

      Liked by 1 person

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