Bottling up emotions is never a bright idea. One cannot predict when the glass will break and its tiny shards, mixed with the remnants of your torn self, will be strewn all over the place to become a sad display for everyone to look at.
No matter how auspicious the day, for me and my family it entails the likes of a curse now. While we light up and decorate our homes to welcome the Goddess Lakshmi on Diwali, a year ago on this very day the heart and soul of our cosy little nest left us all forever.
My mind sent constant reminders to my heart that she is in a better place now and finally free of her pain and misery. She lived a full life. Despite everything, my husband’s family and my kids deserved to celebrate and I had to be a part of the festivities.
I didn’t breathe a word, neither to A nor to my Dad, about the flood of memories that was engulfing me throughout the day. The events of the year before, minute by minute, were playing in my mind like a gloomy film.
Then, M pinged me. M has been my friend for a long time now. He is like a spirit that watches over you and makes its presence felt just when you are about to tumble in a ditch. I deeply regret not being closer to him earlier.
M sent me Diwali wishes and I replied with a mere, “Can we talk?” He called immediately, and as if on cue the ganga – jamuna in my eyes broke all barriers. Possibly expecting it, he was amazingly patient and kept repeating, “Partner, please don’t cry. Aunty’s watching you. Do you want her to be sad?”
His voice that day was more soothing for me than Angel’s hug. Some people are like that. I’m extremely proud and fond of M for the person he was and still is. His impressive personal and professional achievements haven’t changed him one bit.
A fun partnership that we created one day at our college café to plot disposing off of the frustratingly nosy HOD of his department with our bare hands, has certainly evolved and come a long way.“Even when we are in a relationship or married, this partnership is exclusive. It will never break.” He had said, and I agreed.
True to his word, he is still my partner. Thanks M.