Why don’t I go to work?

Today, I put down Angel for her afternoon nap and instead of going to my usual place in the bedroom to work on my laptop; I went and sat on the floor in the balcony.

Suddenly, Angel woke up and out of habit, went straight to the bedroom to look for me. Not finding me there, immediately she cried out loudly.

By the time I kept the laptop aside and went to her, she was completely in tears. The moment I took her in my arms she clung to me tightly, still scared and out of breath. 😦

I held on to her closely, all the while assuring her that β€˜Mamma’s here…she doesn’t go anywhere without you’. She responded haltingly by making muffled anxious noises.

When I finally put her down after some time, she was all smiles again and generously gave me many wet kisses on my cheeks. She laughed blissfully when I pretended to be irritated and wiped them off. I got another cuddly bear hug too.

Seeing her miss I and my presence so much filled me with sudden warmth. Such a tiny sweet helpless being she is and depends on me for everything! If a few minutes can do this, what will happen when she doesn’t see me for long hours?

When I told A Jr about this episode he was perplexed and tried to apply logic to it (Hmpf!), but lovingly told Angel anyway, β€œBaccha, Mamma Papa and Bhaiya never leave you alone or go anywhere. Don’t be scared like this again, ok?”

There are days when something ticks me off and makes me feel rather clumsy and inconsequential for not having a thriving career or a hefty pay check at the end of each month; like many of my friends and relatives.

Then sometimes, on days like today, I feel like I’ve answered my own question.

My precious little darlings aren’t work, but they are the reason why! πŸ™‚

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35 thoughts on “Why don’t I go to work?

  1. Varsha I can so well relate to this post as I am in the same boat. Now when my kids have grown up slightly, I am so happy see the fine individuals they have become. Feel my sacrifice of career was worth it. But at the same time I have tremendous respect for the working moms, who do a great job at managing home and work balance well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Same here Radhika. In the beginning it was quite trying, but A kept pointing out how my presence had shaped A Jr into a well-behaved and well-mannered child compared to his friends. Such encouraging words keep me going.
      I too am in awe of working mothers who handle everything so beautifully. I doubt I can do that.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Expectant father…isn’t it a wonderful feeling? Cherish this process as much as you can. Children are God’s most beautiful gift to us.
      Thank you so much for the comment. ☺

      Like

  2. Aww…your girl is such a sweetheart…well we call work as work only if there is monetary involvement…Motherhood is also work… So you didn’t sacrifice a career you just changed your career πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘Œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my! This is probably one of the best compliments I have ever received! Thank you so much! 😘😘
      Yes, I’m committed full-time so that makes me the most serious working woman of all. πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are most welcome n It is true…I didn’t say it for the heck of it… Work is work… You taking care of your family which is not an easy task… It is us defining ourself as oh I am not earning few bucks so I am not adding value… Everyone adds value you know, i wish we could stop demeaning ourself…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I believe so too dear. It is just that the feeling of financial dependance(even though A never makes me feel it) gets a bit difficult to accept sometimes.
        I had been having a hard time with the kids of late and was genuinely upset for letting of my job. Today it all went away in those few moments when she held on to me. I brought her in this world na…not to send her away somewhere few hours everyday but to love and pamper her..

        Liked by 1 person

      3. A choice to keep the child with you or send them away for few hours depends upon our copying up actually…Some really need to get that away time which is also ok I feel, your mental well being is also imp…But then times of frustration n regret we get it in our corporate world too re, when that nasty boss or colleague makes our living a hell… Hehhe… Then we ask ourself “Why are we exactly working”? … So its all a temporary phase, take some timeout n see the perks within them n all becomes ok…

        Looks like I am nowadays in Gyaan phase… Hehhehe…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I have faced this situation when I was a little girl and the description is beautiful!
    I too have decided never to leave my children alone while I work, in future when I become momma.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have friends telling me the same thing. I never faced this situation as a child and its a blessing neither did my kids. The fact that you think about it is so mature! Love it! Thank you dear. ☺

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The way I felt in that phase has never left me! My written works are often related to it!
        and as you said you have never faced it as a child yet you understand this situation well. Applause!
        Tell your kids they have the best momma πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow! That’s some tall praise for me. Feels good. 😊😊😊
        I have to jump by your blog now. Would love to read it. I heard scary stories from people about the treatment faced by kids from attendants at home as well as day cares. I didn’t have the heart to take the risk. 😷

        Like

      1. Right. I’m just glad I’ve been able to provide a warm home for A to come back to and can constantly be on the lookout for my children. In the long run I will surely be thankful for this.

        Liked by 1 person

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