We were best friends in school till her father got transferred to another city. We wrote letters to each other and kept in touch for a few months, but after a while our friendship fell prey to the distance between us and the need for increased focus on our academics. With time, we became a memory to each other.
Years later, thanks to Orkut, we reconnected. By now we had both become mothers and she had shifted somewhere in Europe for good. There was a lot of catching up to do and as she took minutes out of her work, we bonded again over long chats discussing parenting, exchanging pictures and seeking each other’s opinions on matters of importance.
Like most people settled abroad, she usually took an annual vacation to India for a month to visit her parents. Luckily, soon after we rekindled our friendship she came down for her trip. We planned, decided, and without a second thought I moved things around and even though it was almost 2 hours from my place, went to see her.
Meeting up with her and her family was great, as expected. It was like nothing had changed in all these years. We got nostalgic about school, our classmates and even our crushes from that time! A part of me even fell sorry for not trying harder earlier.
We never change for our friends, do we? Or at least we think so. The fact that someone actually took that extra mile to be with us is very reassuring. I hope she felt it that day. Because, sad as it may seem, it didn’t happen with me when she came down the next time.
A newborn Angel and still delicate in my post-natal stage, I was hoping she would come down to see me and the baby. She called few times, we made plans, and a couple of days before she was to fly she informed rather meekly in a message, “Your home’s too far away.” That was her entire excuse.
My heart sank and I, for once, didn’t mind A’s disapproval about making myself available to people whenever it pleased them. Friendship connects people, but only when the thread is held tightly from both sides. One slack end, and like a dry stray leaf it sways back and forth until it bites the dust.
This is the story of one particular person. Unfortunately, I have come across many such people with different stories, but the same ending. To save myself from unnecessary heartache I choose to cut all ties with them now. It is only fair, I think. May be not quid pro quo, but having some regard for someone is good manners.
So dear people, I’m not elusive, I’m just playing safe for my own sake.