I cannot get through my child’s mind and understand his thoughts. Do I need to take him to a psychiatrist?
I’m not sure whether I’m handling my child properly. May be I can refer a few books which can help me get a grip on it?
I’m not happy with the kind of friends my child has. I wish he would take my advice and choose his friends wisely.
I bet once in a while we’ve all faced such questions and have tried to find answers through channels that many of us have begun to rely on more assertively than we are prepared to accept. And why not? There is extensive literature available quite easily, there are dedicated television programs, there are blogs, there are friends and well-wishers ready to render advice at the slightest hint, and if nothing else, there are professionals who are ready to help us out at a hefty price.
Yet, we find ourselves baffled and anxious many a times. Isn’t it? Even after doing every possible thing we find ourselves less equipped to tackle issues that we face with our children, sometimes on a daily basis. Some of these issues are laughable at best whereas some are serious and deserve intervention.
From my personal experience, guilty as I am of having referred to parenting books et al, at the outset we’re informed that ‘every child is different’ and what works for one child won’t necessarily work for another. Correct. The problem starts when we find that our darling baby doesn’t fit into any of the descriptions the author has put forth and we start wondering whether this was all an exercise in futility. Agree?
However, at times we find that there are matters for which our seasoned parents and relatives too probably don’t have any suggestions. Our situation wasn’t as complicated and competitive like today. Children weren’t forced to step into adulthood with the constant bombarding of sex and related issues, there weren’t enough television channels or mobile phones and/or video games to distract them from people, numbers on marksheets weren’t extremely important or the prices of their clothes, bags or shoes weren’t a point of discussion or envy for them.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for parents to spend some much-needed quality time with their children, and sad as it may seem, there’s a chance they don’t know their own kids all that well. Sometimes the child is difficult to handle or has issues dealing with authority. In such cases, consulting a psychiatrist would probably be the right thing to do, but will it not distance it from his family further?
I’m not anti-parenting, but there are simple things for which I believe we need to dig into our own roots, instead of simply referring to what we’re told. In extreme cases we can anyway get all the help we need. Parenting is a process that continues and changes with every child and every phase. It is something we need to imbibe and learn and personalise for our own benefit. We cannot be told what to do every time, can we?
Westernisation has affected and influenced us in more ways than we can imagine. What once used to be a simple conversation between parents and their children has suddenly become a round-table conference kind of heavy stuff. It isn’t always about something being right or wrong, advisable or disallowed, or popular or despised. We decide it, for ourselves and our family. Expert advice isn’t compulsory, is it?
Any comments, disagreements or suggestions are welcome. I too am still a learner. 🙂