Am I raising a Sheldon Cooper?

Irrespective of the medium involved, there are certain characters that strike a chord with us and stay with us for being endearing, interesting, layered, or even irritating, long after our engagement with them. Subconsciously, we let our imagination run wild and end up deriving their far-fetched parallels with our own lives.

Risking the possibility of being guilty of doing something similar, I’m sharing with my readers few peculiar personality traits of A Jr. Sheldon Cooper, the famous theoretical physicist and eccentric human being from The Big Bang Theory has been my favourite, ever since I saw its first episode and I’m startled by A Jr’s habitual and behavioural similarities with him.

It would be mighty helpful of you, if you could reinstate my faith in my sanity for knowing that I’m being paranoid, or worse, warn me to be prepared for the inevitable!

A Jr considers it his birthright and lawful duty to bless anyone, irrespective of their age, with the priceless pearls of his wisdom. I already feel sorry for the lectures Angel will be subjected to when she grows up! :-/

He cannot zip his mouth, even if someone begs him to. He can talk non-stop on matters like the Kabaddi league, his lunch break at school, his cycling experience, the neighbour’s dog, the watchman….and a lot more. That’s just about anything, you see? 😛

He might reluctantly agree with something he doesn’t want to, but not without making his displeasure clearly evident and sulking under his breath.

He is super-finicky about his food. I once surprised him by making his favourite Pav Bhaji. He gave his plate a look, then looked at me and asked flatly, “You remembered to add lemon juice to it or forgot like last time?” No further reaction. 😦

Continuing from the last point, he has least regard for anyone’s feelings as long as he’s comfortable. This thing continues with his friends too, and typically bothers me the most!

Compromise is a word he has no clue of, although I sometimes deliberately do the opposite of what he wants, only to make him go with it. Needless to say, he becomes a big cry baby and complains. 😛

Criticism should’ve been his middle name! He has set rules, and anything that doesn’t comply with it is, well, criminally wrong. Whatever he does though, you have to say it is good. 

Getting him to engage in some sport is like asking a fish to give up water. He is something like Harsha Bhogle, who never played cricket but is an acclaimed critic. It is like telling others how and why they got wounded when you haven’t the slightest idea of what a wound is. 😦

What Soft Kitty is to Sheldon Cooper, Yashomati Maiyya se bole Nandlala is for A Jr. When A Jr was younger, A had to start over many a times for mixing up the tune or the lyrics, and sometimes even for a less-than-loving tone!

Absentmindedly, I find myself rolling up my eyes, resignedly looking up and asking the deities out there, “Why me!?”, a la Mrs Cooper. Thankfully, I don’t think my son is crazy and most definitely don’t want to get him tested. 😛

I would be proud of my darling if he turns out to be even near brilliant and exceptional like Sheldon Cooper, but he doesn’t necessarily have to be such a pain in the backside too, right? 😀

Which brings me back to the question in the title. Am I raising a Sheldon Cooper? Do I have your blessings? 🙂

The Mahabharata Discussion

Me: *thinking aloud* You know, whenever I see or read the story of Mahabharata, I feel like I’ll go into depression.

A: *Interested* Why?

Me: *Slightly aggressive* Look at how disturbing the story is! The whole kingdom has a bloodbath because of a power struggle between two cousins, an attempt to publicly humiliate a daughter-in-law is done only for spite, a young boy like Abhimanyu is deceptively killed by the elders of his family, and don’t even get me started on Karna!

A: *Flatly* You and your obsession with Karna! Why do you like him so much!?

Me: *Trying to convince* See, as a warrior he might be as good as Arjun, not more, but he was such an amazing human being! He was ridiculed and insulted his entire life for being a soot putra. He maintained his friendship with Duryodhan till the end. He knew he would be killed, yet he gave away his kavach kundal since he was a danveer. He was killed by being attacked on his back. He was everyone’s favourite punching bag.

A: *Cutting me short* Ok, I get you. Anyway, it’s a story. You cannot take it to heart. It is supposed to show the face of Kalyug, where the lust for power, money and victory will overpower religion, reason and relationships.

Me: *Passionately* Correct. But if the same things happen in today’s world, we will condone them! It will be all over social media and the press will have a field time writing about it. If Mahabharata was written a long time ago, it should’ve had some more God-like elements.

A: *Very interested* Like what? Wasn’t there enough magic and God-like intervention already? Bheeshma’s past with Amba, Karna born out of wedlock to Kunti was Sun God’s son, Krishna coming to Draupadi’s rescue during her vastraharan, the famous Geeta Saar by Krishna before the war, and…do you want more?

Me: *Irritated* Ya ya…I know all that. I wasn’t talking about that! Good you brought up Krishna. Krishna was an avatar of Lord Vishnu, right? He could’ve easily avoided the war if he wanted to, but he never raised a weapon. He became Arjun’s saarthi instead. Thousands of soldiers got killed in Kurukshetra and apart from a chosen few the entire family of Kauravas and Pandavas got washed out. Was this necessary? What point was to be proved here?

A: *Choosing the right words* Varsh, Krishna was and is God, but he was a human then. Everything that happened was vidhi likhit. His job on earth was to teach human beings the importance of detachment from worldly pleasures. You know the Geeta Saar, right? We come empty-handed and will go empty-handed. Nothing belongs to us. Yet, we ruin our lives fighting for something that will eventually be left behind anyway. Don’t we?

Me: *Resignedly* I guess you are right. But what kind of imagination must’ve gone in making Draupadi the wife of five Pandavas? That’s like putting a legal stamp on infidelity!

A: *Now bored* Well, you can ask that personally to Vyasji if you ever catch up with him, ok!?

Matter closed.

We are Capable!

Does it happen with you that someone compliments you, genuinely, and it makes you squirm in discomfort? Is it difficult for you to acknowledge that you are good at something and rightly deserve a mention for it? Do you believe that something that hasn’t been created with your complete heart and soul in it cannot be good?

If you answer any of the above questions in affirmative, you have yours truly for company. My answer will be a resounding ‘Yes’ for all of them, and no, I’m not exactly happy about it. I don’t do it deliberately; it has somehow become a part of my nature. I try to find lame excuses to prove that it really isn’t my forte and people are probably overestimating me. Continued opinionated behaviour can do this to us. 😦

For reasons beyond, and within, my contemplation I always felt inconsequential. I lacked the confidence to stand with my head held high and willingly let others overshadow me and my existence. Being surrounded by friends who pulled me down at every possible instance only dispirited me further. It is not easy to let that negativity not affect you, believe me!

I wasn’t spared before, but the most indiscreet judgements I faced in my life came after I got married. My complexion, weight, dressing sense, length of hair and even the colour of my lipsticks and nail colours became a point of debate. Approval wasn’t necessary to me, yet whenever I got dressed, I had to routinely go through the head-to-toe scrutiny by anyone and everyone.

Expecting the daughter-in-laws in our society to follow stereotypes, for our family’s prestige, is quite common. Whether it is right or not is a subject for another post, though. Isn’t it better if I decide for myself whether my jeans makes me look fat or that a tattoo is painful to get and doesn’t look good on a married lady? ( FYI, I have two tattoos!) After all, I have my opinion too!

I’m a well-educated woman, a caring wife, a stay-at-home-mom of two lovely kids and a part-time freelance writer. I always have a jam-packed schedule but manage to squeeze out time for myself and pursue my interests. I read to my kids, whip up experimental dishes in my kitchen and also hang out with a bunch of my girlfriends whenever I can. So, does the gender stereotype apply to me?

I’m a determined person and cannot be easily told to simply follow rules. I surrender to peoples’ expectations at times, but don’t choose to give up on my preferences for them entirely. Having a husband who lets me be, is also a blessing. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so to see our beauty we just need to find a person with an eye for it. 🙂

In our society, outward appearances are given supreme importance. Someone might be extremely good at singing, painting, writing or any other form of art, but we will comment on their looks before complimenting them on their achievements. Looking good is a good thing, but is that everything we need to see in a person?

Not just experience, but even statistics say the same. Take a look at some of the startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

nihar-naturals-statistics-women-1

I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

Another love and laughter story :-)

Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna

Chhodon bekaar ki baaton mein kahin beet na jaaye raina

…goes the famous Kishore Kumar song. In this one line it beautifully summarises the fact that we ought to blatantly ignore peoples’ incorrigibly wagging tongues, gleefully if I may add.

While everyone everywhere is subject to being judged or compared, this kind of nosy behaviour is quite commonly and unabashedly meted out to couples. How often have we heard, “They make an odd pair”, “He’s too good for her” or “She looks so much better than him”? Even celebrities aren’t spared from this!

I, for one, have been generously endowed with such ludicrous assaults on my self-esteem. Being married to a handsome, 6 ft tall well-mannered guy isn’t easy, so I gradually found out. While I let it affect me a bit in the beginning, soon I saw the humour in it and learned to turn it around.

It isn’t rocket science to understand that even the best-looking couples have to deal with issues like incompatibility, stress, parenting and division of work. As long as everything else works well, physical appearance can take a back-seat, right? Doesn’t it give you the opportunity to carelessly laugh at such jabs?

A hasn’t grown up being leg-pulled or being undermined for his looks. Just this fact is enough to make me take pot-shots at him that give us innumerable hilarious moments to enjoy and remember. My favourite ones are his receding hairline, greying hair, his achingly stiff body (he can’t even touch his own toes!) and his Piku wala Amitabh Bacchan type motion problems! 😛

Some months ago we were coming back from A’s native, by train. A Jr has learned to handle himself well while travelling now, but I was worried about Angel. She was just about a year old. We couldn’t be careful enough about the cold and the potential infection. I was glad though that we had one super cute boy, about 3 yrs old in our compartment.

As soon as we entered, he looked at Angel and started ‘chota babu, chota babu’. Angel liked him instantly. While A arranged and secured the luggage I seated us down, with the boy asking me questions like, ‘chota babu kitta bada hai’ ‘chota babu girl hai ya boy hai’ ‘chota babu ka naam kya hai’ etc. the whole time. Once he was done with Angel, came our turn, and here the fun started. 🙂

His mother pointed out at each one of us and asked him who we were. A Jr became Bhaiya and I became Aunty. When she pointed out at A, he looked at him for a moment and said Dadaji! There was an awkward silence. His mom looked at me; I looked at A and simply burst out laughing! I said out loud, ‘See, I’m Aunty but you’ve grown a whole generation!’ 🙂 🙂

Slowly, others followed. A took it in his stride and joined us too. 😀

It was all fun then, but has now led me to oil and colour his hair even more regularly than before. He loves getting pampered and looked after. Sometimes I oblige, sometimes I don’t. As far as the pokes are concerned, I make sure he still gets enough of them.

This post is a part of #LoveAndLaughter activity at BlogAdda in association with Caratlane