Meeting with yourself

It has been quite some time since I spent some leisurely time with this amazing person. She’s a great listener, and from what I’ve experienced, always has something nice to tell me. Though I feel dejected by this, I fear that when we meet again I might not even know where to begin and what we will talk about.

There is too much activity around me right now which is making the singlemost person, that deserves my constant undivided attention, to lose out to everything else: Me! The calming voice inside me is drowning in the cacophony of life’s untuned instruments playing loudly in my ears, without any respite, the whole time.

I’ve always been connected to my inner self through meditation, music, writing, etc. The emotions that I hold back rather firmly from everyone else are taken off my chest only in her company. She has danced with me when I’m elated, has wiped my tears in sadness and has held my hand to comfort me in my low moments.

At a time when my family believes that I have everything going for me, I feel anything but. I don’t know how right it is but the mundaneness and predictability isn’t working for me. I want to believe them but I can’t. Worse, the one person who can give me an honest advice on this is going farther away from me.

I wish I meet her soon. Not some chance encounter, but a heart-to-heart. So Varsh, is it a date?

Advertisements

Life….and what it means

If I do some research I’m sure I’ll be able to find out where the concept of a ‘Bucket list’ originated from. I’m not too inclined to do so. What I do find amusing/confusing is the fact that although it has become quite a rage of late, I can’t relate to it or feel the need to make a list of my own.

Whether I’m right or not or whether I have company or not isn’t much relevant. What is right and workable for someone isn’t right or workable for someone else. Following the herd or trends has hardly been my style.

It is not that I’m not a dreamer. It only means that I also take practical matters and the unavoidable compromises one needs to make into account. A high-flying career with a fat paycheck, exotic holidays, the coolest gadgets, bags, shoes, etc. are all very tempting, but I could never bring myself to trade my motherly instincts for them!

Life has to be lived not planned, is what I feel. Deciding on what we want to do tomorrow robs us of the joy of today. Joy, that we feel from within, not something that we do to make our followers on Twitter and Facebook burn their hearts for. Is that what our world has come to? Following is one thing, but can we make someone else’s dreams our own?

The subtle pleasures in life are only felt, not shared. We need to take a moment to appreciate what we have and not just try to gather and hoard for the time to come.

These are few unexpected things that I’m glad happened with me. They certainly weren’t part of any plan!

# Mumbai was never on my to-go list. The more I avoided coming here, the wider it opened its arms for me. Now, this is where I feel most at home and I’m much in love with this city!

# Though my heart ached for a daughter I wasn’t sure I could handle motherhood all over again. Angel, with her luminous presence, proved me wrong.

# I’d assumed that all my studying was done with before I tied the knot. As luck would have it, I’m still very much onto it. It is challenging, but exciting as well.

# I was never a morning workout person and never went to a gym. That is now a thing of the past as not only I regularly sweat it out, but also take fitness very seriously.

And last, but not the least,

# A blog that started only as an extension of a hobby to write and make better use of time has now reached an impressive milestone. This is my 200th post! Yay! I can’t believe I came this far!

A big thanks to all of you for being a part of this wonderful journey. Stay blessed and please wish the same for me. ☺

So, kick the bucket list now and till the time you have to kick the bucket, just be happy.

What people have to say

Two people who know you well (here, meaning who spent considerable time with you during different phases of your life, completely unattached) cross paths, the conversation flows smoothly, and somehow they stumble upon the fact that they both know you.

One has probably seen you as an awkward adolescent while the other one has been in awe of your confidence and poise in your graduation days. Both are unaware of the person the other one has interacted with. Hopefully you haven’t left either of them with a bad impression of yourself.

What do you think they will talk about you? How will they place you to be certain it’s you? What do you think they’ll remember most about you?

Your physical attributes(overweight and dark, in my case), your nature (jovial but guarded), your attitude (hardly there!), your sense of humour (not bad at all)?

Time changes the best of us. We grow. We mature. We learn to let go of certain things. Yet, the hope that someone has something positive to remember us by never leaves us, does it?

Why I Read

Some time back I had a done a post on Why I Write. This time I want to write on Why I Read. I believe reading, like writing, is something that comes from within. One can try to inform, encourage or suggest, but unless there is an internal urge to gain and imbibe something from it, no one can get the liking or discipline to develop and nurture this hobby.

The blog world is always overflowing with posts by several brilliant bloggers on books in the form of reviews, their personal favourites or recommendations. There’s a vast pool of knowledge and information out there if someone is truly interested. With so many types of bloggers (travel, food, motivational, etc) the books you read about are also varied and cover a wide range of topics.

Having said that and with due respect to them, I for one am finicky when it comes to selecting books and generally rely on my own instinct. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. There have been highly recommended books that have disappointed me and there have been lesser known ones that have captured my heart and attention. I guess it all depends on what I’m looking for in a book.

I’m more of a fiction lover, although my liking keeps changing quite often. Crime, mystery and law are my favourite genres. Think what you may of it but romantic novels make my stomach churn. The Fountainhead kind of sizzling passion is a complete sell-out for me, but Mills & Boons can put me to sleep. Although I own a few, self-help books haven’t been much of a help to me yet.

In the non-fiction kind I’m most fascinated by history and archaeology. I truly believe this was one career choice I could’ve given a serious thought to. I love to know about the world that was so different from the one we live in! Early civilisations, cultures, invasions, lifestyles and mannerisms are a pleasure and delight to study and explore.

What I like most about reading is the make-believe world it transports me to. The characters and situations created by the author become a part of my being and my world gels with theirs for a certain period of time. I laugh with them and cry with them. Their accomplishments give me a sense of achievement and their failures break my heart.

Reading gives me some much needed respite. Books have been my best friends through some tough times and my permanent bedside buddies. There’s always a book in my handbag, whether I’m travelling or off on a break somewhere. They give me a feeling of assurance and a lesson that the journey is important and enjoyable, not the destination.