Imparting wisdom

How does it feel when the hand that you held, supported and guided till some time ago suddenly starts to lead? What would be an appropriate response when you see your words being repeated almost verbatim by someone you didn’t expect (so soon)? How easy or how difficult is it to accept that time and people change faster than you can imagine?

I’d been asking myself these questions endlessly since last few months and, like back then, even now they are left unanswered. The reason is simple enough. Emotions cannot easily be defined and putting feelings into words has never been simple. Isn’t it? ☺

A Jr, my little boy who till yesterday was the centre of my universe, was pampered silly and could make me agree to almost anything by flashing a brilliant smile, has suddenly grown up and how! The prospect of being the elder one, ‘Bhaiya’ precisely, was welcomed by him with mixed feelings. There was a hint of pride, a tinge of possessiveness, a (hidden)slice of insecurity and a very apparent sense of caring in him. 😄

Agreed that Angel’s entry in our life has made us proud parents all over again, but more importantly it has made a parent/guardian out of my little boy. It is not unusual these days to find A Jr giving away the gyaan he acquired from us authoritatively but subtly to Angel with big brotherly protectiveness.

His favourite time to talk to her (which he does a lot) is during her daily massage. Like her elder brother, she absolutely loves it and doesn’t mind her Mom sweat it out while both these siblings have these special conversations. One of them talks nonstop while the other one listens intently, pretends like everything’s registered and responds with an occasional ‘huh’.

I’m inclined to share some of the pointers he has given his (just about 3 months old) sister so far. I’m sure you’ll end up smiling like I did! He calls her Bacchu fondly.

# Bacchu, when I go to school you should be a good girl and not trouble Mamma.

# When you’ll grow up you’ll go to school too. But when you have studies don’t come to me for help a lot because I’ll be in bigger class and will have lots of studies of my own.

# You should study hard and come first in class like Bhaiya.

# I’ll come to drop you to school in the beginning but later on you have to go by bus alone.

# When I go to play don’t be stubborn and insist on joining me. You’ll get hurt because you’re still a baby.

# If you do get hurt while playing, you shouldn’t cry. If you have to, you can cry only a little bit, not a lot. Then you come home and ask Mamma to apply dettol on it.

and last but not the least, my favourite one:

# If anyone troubles you, you have to tell Mamma and Papa and me also. Don’t hide anything and keep to yourself. How’ll we help you then?

It is ok if I get all emotional at this right? ☺ It’s all I can recollect right now. Might’ve missed out a thing or two. Some other time, some other post for them may be.

The first question when he wakes up in the morning is, ‘Has bachhu got up?’. There’s a separate goodbye for her whenever he steps out of the house. He picks her up in his arms carefully to pacify her when she’s crying and sings lullabies for her lovingly.

It is tough to imagine what goes on in A Jr’s little mind but he sure knows and acts like a responsible and caring big brother already. The big brother I never had. Lucky you, Angel! ❤

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Some things to share :)

“We haven’t met in such a long time. Don’t you miss me?” came the silent question.

I tried to to turn a blind eye to it and hoped that the hurt voice would drown in the commotion inside and around me.

“I know you can hear me. Why’re you ignoring me?” it prodded.

I struggled to find a fitting answer, well aware that nothing I said would appear convincing.

“Ok. Take your time. Come to me when you can. I know you will.” and it wrapped it up.
For me, ironically, it had just started.

I introspect once in a while, not to find any answers per se but to know what are the things I can do for myself that can make me happy. I believe that trying to find happiness from within us is the only way to ensure no disappointment. We wouldn’t willingly be mean to ourselves now, would we?

It was hence not surprising when the voice inside me sulked and moaned silently when I wasn’t able to find time (by being busy or sometimes plain lazy) to do the one thing that came most naturally to me, gave me joy and made me feel fulfilled creatively.

Writing.

Writing has been a part of my life since always. I know, I’m sounding ironic since I have been defaulting on my posting for a long time now. Well, what can I do? Sometimes there’s something else that needs me or somewhere else I need to be and I have to be there. Period.

Here, I’d like to take the opportunity to inform everyone out there. There’s (hopefully) a new blogger on the block. We welcomed our very precious baby, my daughter Angel, in our family last November 😀 😀 :D. That makes her roughly about 3 months old now. A has turned into a super emotional father (it’s a daughter afterall!) and A Jr is supremely happy being the Bhaiya he always wanted to be. As far as I’m concerned, well, I’m trying to keep my sanity intact while keeping track of two young and one grown kid.🙂

Now that I am able to find some time to breathe peacefully, I cannot keep myself away from tapping away on my keyboard. It feels like home. Would it sound plausible if I say that even when I talk to myself in my mind I’m constantly forming sentences, correcting the grammar and struggling to keep track of the many ‘drafts’ committed to memory but left unwritten?

I wish this changes now. There’s so much happening in life right now that’ll deserve a mention in the years to come. The changes in us as parents, the bonhomie between the kids, the revisiting of fears and insecurities regarding my career, and well, lot more.