Princely ways :)

In days and years to come I’m essentially going to be a pompous, indulgent and ranting mother with tidbits about how well and not-well my boy’s faring in his academic life. My regular readers can buckle up to get pestered. 🙂

Till then there’s loads of incomplete stuff lying in my drafts that I have to publish lest I leave out some cute anecdotes about A Jr’s adorable childhood behaviour. I found in my drafts this post on A Jr written some time back and which instantly brought a smile on my face. 🙂

I’m in the middle of a dramatic conversation with A Jr, insisting him animatedly to listen to his elders and respecting them at all times, when my mother intervenes and says, ‘Don’t pester the poor child, he’s well-behaved. You were much worse!’ All A Jr can do to control himself from smiling and getting spanked is running away. :-/

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Tired of A Jr fooling around everywhere in the house while during meal and milk time, I give him an annoyed look. He in turn gives me a brilliant smile and says,’Come here Mama, I’ll give you a kiss’ 🙂

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I try to plan my work-outs when A Jr won’t be around, but inadvertantly they coincide once in a while, and though I hate distractions. what I really look forward to is A Jr replicating my yogasans..and that too with a lot of perfection! He’s a natural at imitation. Do I have a budding actor/politician/sportsperson/journalist/lawyer/mimicry artist in my house? *wondering*

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Sometimes A leaves for work hurriedly and doesn’t bother to wake up a sleepy A Jr. Its no mean feat to deal with him once he’s awake, ‘se he’s very cranky and bawls beyond control complaining, ‘Mujhe Papa ki yaad aa rahi hai, wo office kyun gaye’. 😦 Poor me, I’ve to pray to all my Gods and bribe him with every chocolate I can find in the house to bring him back to normal.

Whatever he does, he’s my prince right? And regal people aren’t as charismatic without their share of tantrums, are they? Dear God please give me the strength to brace myself for what the future holds for me! 🙂

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Two weeks later

It’s been over two weeks since A Jr started his Jr KG in his ‘big school’ (as he calls it). Technically it’s been ten days, what with the makers of our future corporate gurus already adapting the teaching-and-studying-only-weekdays policy. Calling these days eventful would be a gross understatement. They’ve ranged from being hellish to tolerable with some good amount of bawling and pushing in between.

A Jr’s session in his playschool had ended way back in March, which is when his summer vacations began. Almost 4 months! 🙂 🙂 During this time the boy got to watch his favourite cartoons all day, uninterrupted. He loved it when his mother didn’t bother to prod too much when he didn’t want to write alphabets or numbers. His visits to his grandparents were filled with chocolates and more and more masti and he was spoilt, completely! 😀

Now imagine having to give up all these jaan se pyaari things when the new school began! New place, new people and a lot bigger school, his enthusiasm to join was palpable at first. Added to it the excitement of wearing new uniform and new shoes, carrying a new Doraemon bag which had a compass box with cute pencils, eraser and sharpener, he was unstoppable! Sadly though, not too long after he joined, his sundar sapna bit gaya when he realised that he’s expected to even study there. 😛

Writing was something I could never get him to do without fussing. 😦 He had his own rules. He’ll choose the alphabet he wants to write. He’ll write wherever he wants, even if that place is the newspaper or the walls. Size just doesn’t matter; his alphabets could be the size of a whole page. He took an eternity to decide which colour crayon he wanted to use. Only he could decide whether what he wrote was right. There’s a lot more, but getting my point? *rolling eyes*

No teacher in her right mind would put up with these rules, would she? His teacher complained to me within a week on how he doesn’t listen to her and wants her to hold his hand while writing. I’ll never forgive myself for getting offended by her remarks and taking it all out on A Jr. *slaps self remorsefully* Egging is one thing, forcing is another. In a not-too-subtle way I made him obey, which backfired on me, as expected. 😦 😦

Even before he could jerk the sleep off his eyes every morning A Jr would go, ‘ I don’t want to go to school’. This song would religiously continue till the time he had to leave. My eyes would well up and I’d feel uneasiness in the pit of my stomach. Discipline is one thing, but was this fair to him? Was I being too harsh with my baby? Did I have to do this? Some quick consultation with my mother about this, and I continued being the vamp, but this time I changed my attitude. This time, as she’d convinced me, I succeeded.

I started giving him incentives for doing homework. He could play Angry Birds on my phone or get a jelly on every page he completed. I’d put on his favourite CD if he listened to me. May be this isn’t the best way to encourage him, but it did manage to shirk off his dislike for writing. He got his first Good on his workbook! My pride cannot be put in words. 🙂 🙂

I understand now why parents demand a change in our education system so fervently. Teaching is one thing, but expecting toddlers like A Jr to be attentive in class and dutifully complete their homework is a bit too much to ask! Their minds are very receptive and they retain everything, even negativity. Shouldn’t learning be a fun thing rather than being a job that needs to be completed within a time frame?

This topic is too vast and cannot be covered here. Will write on this some other time. Till then, my energies are concentrated on A Jr.

A dream no more… :)

The other day someone confessed to me details about the love of his life, with a lot of mushiness. His eyes were dreamy, he was blushing all the time and the smile seemed to be pasted on his lips, all at once. It was very cute! 🙂

Is it strange that with this I was reminded of my college days when I was a hopelessly romantic teenager with nothing but my poems to keep me company? This is one such poem that has me waiting and craving for my Mr.Right aka A. 🙂

I love even your thought so much,
Can’t imagine how I’ll love you,
Coz even when I think of you,
I feel like I’m missing you.

I feel you looking down at me,
From somewhere in the crowd,
But you neither raise your hand,
Nor do you speak aloud.

Still I know you’re there though,
Waiting to show yourself, for years,
Coz your eyes penetrate deep into me,
And your voice rings in my ears.

You’re everything to me, and
I know I’m everything to you,
I feel like a fool to say all this,
But isn’t love foolish too?

🙂 🙂

Confused freedom

Like they say too many cooks spoil the broth, too many thoughts and distractions totally mess up your thinking process. Attribute it to a jam-packed schedule that does not allow me to find a minute for myself in a day, a maid who’s been absconding for over a month now and who’s replacement is proving an arduous task, the remorse that my books aren’t getting read as frequently and intensely as required, and most importantly A Jr’s transition from a playschool to a big school which is playing havoc with his mind and habits, I’m simply not able to focus on anything.

I know things always need some time and effort for getting used to, but with too much changing too fast there’s precious little in my capacity and control. Sometimes I deeply regret not having anyone near me who could make it a little easy to bear all this or someone who could just share a tiny part of all these responsibilities. There are errands that I hope A could help me with but the thought of having to mend what he’s surely going to spoil makes me cringe. May be he does it intentionally to make me make him beg out. I don’t know.

I can’t blame anyone for the constant discomfort I feel inside me. A deserves credit for being a very accommodating and indulging husband over the least few days. He’s taken me out on wonderful dates, treated me at restaurants with lovely ambience and awesome food and shopped for me even when I didn’t ask for it. What is it then that’s making me cower and go into semi-hiatus, I can’t decide.

I got this book which is a collection of short stories by Premchand called ‘प्रेमचंद की सर्वश्रेष्ठ कहानियां’. There was a story in it where two women are talking about how women perceive freedom. They say that women try to show that they feel liberated by dressing and acting like men but deep down this is just a rebellious outburst, not a feeling of freedom. Freedom comes from the confidence of being free and the courage to make your own decisions. This isn’t what the story was about, but it sure set my mind thinking.

Women like me who don’t flinch while making sacrifices for their families and putting others above them are mostly a confused lot. We want to study and have a successful career but we also don’t want to miss the subtle things in life. Education has liberated us but we’re still not free from the ropes of love that bind and obligate us. This perplexity isn’t good for anyone and right now that anyone is me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t like what I’m doing, just that I’m not able to find happiness in it.

Have written a lot but I’m not sure what I’ve written. Haven’t read it myself. My mind isn’t thinking straight today and I would like to clarify that this post shouldn’t be taken literally.