What’s in a posture?

Apparently a lot, and I’m not even talking about the science part of it here.

We keep saying that stereotyping is a wrong thing and people need to have an open mind and all. Well, I’ve sorely bore the brunt of not being typecast as a girl, for almost the whole time I was in engineering college. 😦

One Sunday my father felt like going for a small outing. The weather was awesome and there wasn’t a better place than a small hill-station not very far from our place to enjoy it. We took our camera along and went berserk clicking pictures of clouds and mountains and what not (and some of ours too).

In one particular picture I was standing on a huge stone with my hands on my waist and giving a rather furious look to my brother who kept teasing me throughout for silly things. I’d never imagined that this one picture would change my name and my college life forever! It didn’t turn out that bad, but alas, I made the asinine mistake of sharing it with my friends who branded and rechristened me with the tag ‘Shivaji Maharaj’ from then on and that has stuck with me till now. I still wonder if I did pose like him. 😦 😦

If you’re someone like me who’s over-blessed where weight is concerned and under-blessed where rate of metabolism is concerned, you’ll probably understand my plight here. The skinny ones can read on, but mind you, don’t you dare smile even a bit!

Months after A Jr was born I managed to shed all my post-partum weight and was rather pleased with the results. Blame it on a very insisting MIL who’d stop at nothing to overfill me (You’re still nursing and the baby needs milk or It’s ok to get fat, look at me!) or a string of weddings and family functions that just wouldn’t take a break, I gained a rather significant part of it back. I started working on it again and was glad the efforts were showing, although painfully slowly.

Now, I was at this wedding and we were standing in a large group cheering along while the bride and groom were getting their pictures clicked. I was standing near the stage and had taken support against its wall (which probably made my abdomen protrude a bit) when some Aunty I remotely recognize walked up to me especially only to ask, “ Are you pregnant?” Rather taken aback, I enquired if I looked like I was. She could’ve replied in affirmative and let go, but she insisted on giving me a 15 mins lecture on how I must work-out, while everyone else was amused and enjoyed. Can married girls not gain weight unless they’re pregnant?? *Grrrrrrrrrrr*

So much for not bothering to stand or pose correctly! Am still a little ignorant about my posture at times but I try to keep reminding myself to keep check. Who knows tomorrow I might get some wisecrack from A Jr, and if it does, boy it will hurt! 😦 😛

When our legs too get pulled :P

Elders are evolved, and this makes them loose out on some precious brownie points in comparison with kids. Evolution breeds a well-defined reason which is presumptively backed by some obscure logic and in the end is still a twisted concept. Kids don’t worry about such trivial issues.

Attribute it to their non-evolved mind that is open to make possible anything that remotely makes good sense agree with it, they come up with such wild imaginative plans and ideas that make up for some hilarious moments. 🙂

We’re watching Duck Tales on the laptop when suddenly A Jr starts shooting this stuff at me.

A Jr: *In a complaining tone* Papa ke laptop mein do wires hain aur mere laptop mein ek bhi nahi. Kyun? 😦 (Why does Papa’s laptop have two wires and mine has none?)

Me: *Trying to calm him down* Papa ka laptop baar baar charge karna padta hai na, aapke laptop mein batteries hain.. (His laptop has to be charged. Yours has batteries)

A Jr: Jab main bada ho jaunga mujhe bhi do wires wala laptop chahiye! (I want a two wired laptop when I grow up)

(I have to start making a list and open a new bank account right away!)

Me: Thik hai…Papa se kehna wo aapko la denge… (Tell your Dad, He’ll get you one)

A Jr: *Triumphantly*  Haan, mujhe Toshiba wala ya phir Vaio wala pink colour ka laptop chahiye! 🙂 (Get a pink Toshiba or Vaio laptop for me)

Me: Par pink colour to girls ka hota hai na…aap girl ho kya? 😛 (Pink is a girl’s colour, you aren’t a girl are you?)

A Jr: *Dejected* Nahi main to boy hun…accha mujhe green wala la dena. *After thought* Par pink colour ki wires milegi kya? (No, get me a green one, but can I have pink wires?)

(This metro-sexual boy simply loves pink!! :D)

I’m in the kitchen trying to wrap up the cooking fast. It is hot and the kitchen fan is not working. My live entertainment package comes in to make it bearable and even a little enjoyable.

A Jr: Jab main bada ho jaunga aur Papa chhote ho jayenge phir main shaam mein office se aaunga aur unko picture dikhane le jaunga. (When I grow up and Papa becomes small I’ll take him for a movie after coming back from work in the evening)

(I’ve never understood how and why we become small when he grows up!) 🙂

Me: *Confused and nonsensically * Accha…kaunsi wali? (Which one?)

A Jr: *Ready with an answer* Chillar Party wali…chote log baccho ki picture dekhte hain na. Aapko bhi leke jaunga haath pakadke. Chillar Party nahi, doosri wali.. (Chillar Party, since it’s a kids’ movie. I’ll take you too, but for a different movie)

Me: *Glad I was at least involved* Oh..thik hai..thank you! 🙂

A Jr: *Proudly* Welcome…aur main bada baccha ho jaunga na phir main aapko protect bhi karunga! Kisine aapko tang kiya to usko ek jhapad marunga phir wo rone lagega! Ha Ha! 🙂 🙂(I’ll protect you too. If anyone troubles you I’ll slap that person very hard and make him cry)

Me: *Sarcastically* Aur aap office jayenge to Papa kya karenge? (What’ll Papa do when you go to work?)

A Jr: *Without batting an eye-lid* Main unko school bhejunga padhai karne! (I’ll send him to school to learn) 😀 😀

I’m only glad A is at the receiving end of all this! For some unfathomable (and thankful) reason he chooses not to poke fun at me, at least as of now. 😀 😀

Will it won’t it?

Love it or hate it, you can’t possibly escape it.

I’m compelled to share these pearls of wisdom with every person who’s not looking forward to getting married in our family. In my role as an elder sister, bhabhi or sometimes a friend I’ve been assigned the non-enviable task by the elders in our family/know-how, that of trying to convince the person in question on what a great life he/she is going to embark upon.

To be honest I’ve tried by best to set a good example and show them on how exhilarating and adventurous this experience can be. I love this institution and all that it carries with it, so trying to count the highs and lows of it isn’t very difficult. It is like a rose, beautiful, fragrant, but non-existent without its thorns. 🙂

The recent one to join the hoping-to-get-married brigade, very reluctantly, I must add, is my younger brother. Like any other guy in his late 20s he’s inclined more towards enjoying his life and focussing on his career, while typically my mother is leaving no stone unturned to make sure all the right rishtas come his way. It’s a pity he doesn’t have a girl-friend, my mother says resignedly.

Blame it on his stars that aren’t as unwilling as he is, one worthy rishta did come up some days ago. It is amusing on how many common friends we seem to have with them, we’re practically virtually related! Anyway, since a formal exchange of pictures has to be done, as his elder sister the responsibility fell on me and I did the needful, and that was where I erred.

Not that this thing is even an issue, but my good sense doesn’t allow me to ignore certain things. The email was sent to her brother’s id (that was the one they provided) who didn’t even have the courtesy to reply with any pleasantry. There were some other things he wanted to know for which he wrote a single line, in slang language, and again, with no heed to grammar or manners, and unpardonably, addressed to my brother! *Angry*

Wasn’t this supposed to be a formal affair? It should be clear from my id on who’s sent him the email right? Wasn’t someone more matured in their house supposed to take this thing ahead? Even while addressing mails to strangers a certain degree of decency has to be maintained right?

I haven’t replied to the mail yet and don’t even plan to. Haven’t had the chance of speaking with my mother on this thing yet either. I did tell my brother and he had a line full of sarcasm ready. Tempting as it is, I can’t actually reply that way, I can’t behave like him! 😦

I won’t let this thing influence my opinion about the girl, but this sure does prove on how much compromises one needs to make. I’m a mere spectator in this whole thing and even I have to let go of some stuff. Who knows what will happen next. Will keep you posted.

Playing Google

You know the time when you just want to be a waste and not work at all? There’s a bunch of pending mails that you haven’t answered, you haven’t blogged in a long time, you haven’t catched up on your reading, but you’ve simply lost the will to do any of it?

One day there was one such instance for me. There was a lot of time on hand to kill, and nothing substantial that I wanted to do, and I was rather clueless on what needed my least attention. Just when I thought I was so listless that I should simply give up, Eureka! An idea came to my mind. 😀

Inquisitive to know what kind of online presence I had, I decided to Google myself. Now, I know it is a terribly sad thing to do, I mean what good could it bring to me? I’m not rich nor married to anyone rich, I haven’t publicly taken pangas with anyone, I’ve not been involved in any controversy, I’m not a politician, I’m not a social worker, I haven’t done anything significant to merit my existence on this planet, (Ok, got to stop here. It is MY blog! :P), why would then my name fetch any results at all? 😦

All these questions and more kept doing kathak in my head but I refused to acknowledge them or budge from my stance and went ahead and did the unthinkable, but not before I’d googled some glorious names/surnames. Here’s what I got.

Ambani

Bachchan

Honestly, I can confess I wasn’t disappointed. Google did try to help me out by offering a suggestion that spelt my surname incorrectly (someone else it was, huh!), but when I did press enter with my own name, I was pleasantly surprised to find everything from my Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn page to even my blog out there. 🙂

It is any day better than being an Ambani and then seeing Google fetch some famous else by the same name. This meant that there’s no one around by my name and I do have a unique online presence, isn’t it? 😀

By the way, have you tried to google yourself? Why not do it now and have fun? 🙂

Something better, please?

It was after the (in)famous episode in the daily soap Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi in which sabka laadla Mihir died that we realised the maddening effect it had on public at large, including my mother. It happened unexpectedly without the slightest warning, and the mamta of every Indian mother everywhere in the world came out in full force; rejecting, objecting and denying any such possibility. Ditto with my Mom. She cried so much we’d begun feeling a little jealous of the affection she had for Mihir. 😦

Till then, my father, who quietly (primarily since he had no choice) allowed my mother to be a dedicated Ekta Kapoor serials fan, banned daily soap viewing at our place, with immediate effect. He made her take an oath on all her gods and himself and us that she won’t see even the repeat telecasts while he was away during the day (well, not literally, but she was warned nevertheless :P).

Since we had the option to actually see something of our choice on tv after that we all went berserk. The countless cds/dvds that had started gathering dust came out, news channels got new viewers, happy channels like SAB, music channels, etc. started playing at our place even during late hours. 🙂

As far as I was concerned, I was never a soap person. Hindi ones were a big no-no, for a simple reason that they were very predictable. Sometimes, I felt I did a better job than their writers of taking the story ahead. On the other hand, Friends, Seinfeld, Boston Legal and a select few had to be seen every time they were aired.

Once in a while though, something catches my fancy. Recently, one such soap that had me interested was Kya Hua Tera Wada on Sony. Not that I expected it to be something out of the world, but it appeared like it would show the matured life of a middle-aged couple with kids and responsibilities. Mona Singh and Pradeep Singh are plausible actors, making the whole setting look authentic.

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Anyway, I bless myself for restricting my viewership to the promos that are kept updated to the latest episode. The whole story goes like this: A dedicated wife. A bored and adjusting husband. Cute kids. A successful career woman. An extra-marital affair.

The outcome: Two strong headed women fighting over a confused man who has no b***s. *Grrrrrr*

Seriously, can’t we grow up or should we start plagiarizing soaps too? So much dearth of imagination in a country where we produced serials like Buniyaad, Lifeline and even the recent Astitva. Sad. 😦

My reason to smile :)

I hadn’t planned on writing another one on A Jr so soon, but then sometimes some things happen that bring a broad smile on my face and I get this irresistible urge to pen them down asap and lock them in memory forever! Like this incident that happened yesterday.

I and A Jr were coming back home in an auto during peak traffic hours in the evening. I was getting anxious as reaching home late would disrupt my whole plan for the evening. Since A has a holiday today he was expecting me to treat him with some hatke home-made food (essentially with some mango in which ever form) which evidently needed some preparation, and watching Kahaani on dvd was certainly on cards. The endless red lights were slowing us down and increasing my impatience further.

Untouched and unfazed by any of these worries A Jr was his usual self, in full form, asking infinite questions, talking non-stop, and even advising the auto-driver on how he needs to regulate the speed of the auto. He was proudly wearing his Chhota Bheem t-shirt from his wide collection of character-tees.

It was when our auto halted at yet another red light that it happened. On our left was a lady on a scooter, carrying three girls (yes!), two in the back who looked like school girls and one in front who was around A Jr’s age. On our right was another auto that had one elder girl who looked like she must be in college, and again three young girls of A Jr’s age. (I’m sure when he grows up A Jr would love to be in such a position again! :P)

Now, a young girl from the auto in the right looked at A Jr and exclaimed very loudly, “ See, he’s wearing a Chhota Bheem t-shirt!”. What followed was hilarious, three pairs of eyes from the auto, and four pairs of eyes from the scooter on the left turned in our direction, all at once! Slightly taken aback by this sudden showering of attention on him by the opposite sex, A Jr looked at me shyly and said, “Why are those girls looking at me like this?”. The girls still won’t stop looking at him, so he blushed and blushed, like a beetroot. 😀 😀

This whole thing continued for some more time. The lady on the scooter, me and the elder girl from the auto, looked at each other and burst out laughing, once again all at once! What more, even the auto-driver joined us. I guess I should’ve felt guilty for having a hearty laugh at A Jr’s expense, but I just couldn’t help it. The boy regained his composure miraculously fast and retorted rather sweetly, “That girl doesn’t have my Chhota Bheem t-shirt, that’s why she was looking at me.” I’m sure he held on to it very tightly after that for fear of someone trying to take it away from him. 🙂

Needless to say, I forgot everything I was thinking about before that. No recipe came to my mind, I didn’t worry about how late we got or who was supposed to get the dvd. My boy had given me yet another reason to smile, making me wonder about just how much capable he is of doing that!! 🙂 🙂

P.S : I did prepare a mouth-watering dish for A. It was a desert created on a hunch but it turned out wonderfully! My FB friends have seen it already, and the ones who haven’t, here’s a glimpse of it. Enjoy! 🙂

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Fruit cake served with mango pulp and topped with chocolate and dry fruits. My latest creation! 😀