Being someone who mostly found better friends in the opposite sex had its own pitfalls for me. Although I enjoyed sharing all kinds of witty, dirty and mind-numbingly stupid jokes with them, there were times when I simply wished the earth would open up and swallow me! 😦

There was a time when we friends were hanging out and someone swore. Nothing new, but the worst part was when I didn’t know what it meant and I ended up asking one of the guys, which only resulted in guffaws and more guffaws everywhere! 🙂

There was another time when our class was planning a class trip. Suggestions were being called for the preferred destinations and one place that got the majority of votes was Khajuraho caves. Ignorant me, I didn’t see through the mischievous and wicked smiles and asked someone what they were about. I got the answer, yes, but only after the whole class was informed that I finally know what the fuss is all about! 😛

A girl was called a machine. Everyone knew it of course, except me. When I was enlightened with this particular piece of knowledge I couldn’t help laughing every single time someone used the word. Result: People rolled their eyes in disgust on what a child I was! 😀

Those were college days and this is a leaf out of the whole book of very fond memories. Interestingly, I find it rather amusing when I get similar reactions from A on certain things. I always wanted my husband to be a good friend of mine, but A did what I certainly had not expected.

The other day he was watching the promos of movies due to release soon. Amongst them was Agent Vinod and A was watching Kareena Kapoor’s mujra song. I was in the kitchen when he called out for me. Reluctantly I came out, only to find A tell me, “ See the way she’s shown her cleavage in this song!” I was flabbergasted and feigned offence to the whole female population of the world while he went on enjoying the song. 😀

This reminded me of college days when guys would ditch any one of us for a few moments with their current favourite or make me check out the girl they thought was hot.

Friends or husbands, guys don’t change, do they?? 😉


Agreed or not?

Some years ago Bombay Times carried an interview given by Kajol. It was probably on the occasion of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge completing 10 years, I’m not sure. Since Kajol gives interviews rarely and does have interesting things to say and share I read the whole thing. Along with other things she had a lot to say about her equation with Shahrukh Khan and how they’re as different as chalk and cheese.

One line that she’d particularly used (which I’d never heard before then, honestly) and which has stayed with me since then, was:

“We’ve both agreed to disagree”

Though put very simply, I feel these words carry with them a very deep meaning.

They can give you cues on when and why not to expect or say something and can save you from getting into highly charged and unnecessary emotional situations.Though we like to project ourselves as approachable and want people to think that we welcome brickbats and bouquets with equal pride, secretly we don’t want these impressions being put to test.

As human beings we’re all accustomed to having our own comfort zone; a place where our wish and will are always right and at no point questionable. We like being in charge and love it when we can call the shots. We like it when people nod their heads in agreement over everything we say.

We’d like to be right and agreed with all the time, but is it possible? Of course not! We may choose and decide according to the best of our knowledge and abilities, but does that ensure that we won’t falter at any point? It doesn’t. In that case, doesn’t keeping an open mind make us a bigger person and assist us in accepting everything, even disagreements, with ease?

I’m not trying to imply here that we can’t have an opinion. All of us have the right to adhere to our views, but is proving a point by having the last say the only way to satisfy our ego? We can put forward our opinion, accepting or agreeing with it or not is others’ calling. They can’t be compelled to take our side. If the people in question are our near and dear ones this has to be handled even more carefully so as to not offend anyone. 🙂

At times when I feel wronged or erred or feel that even my perfectly logical and sane judgement is getting thwarted, I refer to this line and I can confidently say that till date I’ve never regretted it. It has helped me sail through some uncomfortable and rather ugly instances by helping me take things in my stride rather than getting bugged about them.

So, in case anyone of you doesn’t like or agree with what I wrote…its perfectly ok!! 😀 😀

Did you change it too?

It hit me when we went to obtain the legal papers certifying it. I always knew it’d happen some day, but hadn’t expected it to affect me so much. It’s very normal, happens all the time and is a part of any girl’s life. I never had any qualms about it, but the feeling that I’d become someone else from then on wasn’t comforting.

Don’t want to create any suspense here. I’m talking about the time when we went to obtain our Marriage Certificate, the very paper that changed my name and my existence forever. It was the first document that bore my new surname. The name that carried my father’s name and maiden surname was gone, and it seemed like within those few moments I’d become a different person altogether.

I don’t know if it’s strange to be so attached to your name. Is it normal? I remember the time when our teachers in school and college (sometimes even friends) always identified and called us by our surnames. You heard your name so many times; while answering the roll call, while participating in any contest, while accepting prizes. It always stayed with you, when you came first and even when you didn’t do very well. It was you after all, wasn’t it?

People always attach surnames to one’s religion. I know it’s not fair, but there’s one habit I have till date, trying to find out what faith a person belongs to from his surname. In a time where people are getting exceedingly touchy about knowing and speaking native and local languages (read Marathi here) and favouritism is the norm, it does help to a great extent. I’ve personally experienced that people react positively when spoken to in their native language. Is trying to be nice to people with a little background check bad then? I wonder..

I digressed a bit here, but let me tell you a small anecdote that brought a pleasant smile to my face. I was at an art exhibition cum sale with a friend of mine few days ago. We’d settled on what articles we wanted to buy, but since there was a beeline at the billing counter she waited there while I went around having a quick peek at the items again. She paid for both of us, but called out for me since they were planning some sort of contest and wanted our personal details and postal address for the same.

One would imagine I’d make it quick, but it was rather shocking when I told my name but my surname simply blacked out. I was stammering as if she had asked me some rocket science related question! Eventually when I did tell her my surname, it interestingly turned out to be the maiden one. The new one had not yet come out of hiding in my mind. My friend was bewildered too. For information sake, I’ve been married for more than 5 yrs now!! We had a good laugh over it later. 🙂

I know one can contend that I always had the option to retain my maiden surname but the thought never struck me. I mean, how could my husband and me have a different surname? Pinsy once told me that the population survey lady who visited her place thought that she and her husband were only living-in since they have different surnames! Now that’s hilarious! 😀 😀

I know its easier for paperwork to retain the old one, but as a girl it was probably the first thing that I sacrificed for my marriage. A finds my love for my old name rather amusing. I don’t expect him to understand. It’s a sacrifice he’d never have to make in his life, or rather no guy has to make in our society.

What do you think of this? Did you feel the same?

Mind it!!

How do you react when a guy’s rather lecherous actions are making you exceedingly uncomfortable and attracting unnecessary attention?

Why can’t men stop themselves from misbehaving even with girls their daughter’s age?

How do you handle the situation when all you want is to slap that person’s face, but can’t, since your hyper-active toddler who retains and repeats everything you said and did is present there?

Why are men so incorrigible that they can’t stop ogling at anything that walks in a skirt (or salwar suit or sari in my case)?